OSCAR WILDE, An Ideal Husband

Damn you, Oscar Wilde!  Damn you and your quips!  I hate you!  You’re ruining my life!  No, wait… Oscar, don’t go… I love you.  Really.  Friends, you can’t see it, but I’m shaking my fists and behaving like Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes.

Okay, so what is this about anyway?  I’ve made no bones about the fact that once upon a time I weighed a LOT more than I do now.  I’ll be fair and say that my “LOT more” might not be other people’s “LOT more”, but work with me here.  I’ve been trying to reach a goal of right smack in the middle of my ideal BMI range and have 21 more pounds to go.  It’s taken me about 7 years to lose 70 pounds.  Oh sure, there are people who can lose that in a year, but can they keep it off?  I opted for slow and steady wins the race.  Once I reach my goal, I’ll have lost a small person, someone the size of say… Kristin Chenoweth (she’s tiny).

Thankfully, finding out I can’t eat gluten, soy and am pretty high up there on the Lactose Intolerant charts has helped turn around my stagnant weight.  Apparently when you have food intolerances – for some people, me for instance – it really can make you gain weight.  But there is more to it… I’ve also talked about how I like a good cocktail, a nice wine or tasty beer (now in gluten free).  I really enjoy having a drink with dinner, and maybe another for dessert.  There is something ritualistic about it and comforting.

… Iooks a little… okay a lot… like this.

Here’s where the Shoulder Monkeys , Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, start screaming loudest.  I want to lose these last 21 pounds and to do it, I really have to cut back (or out… but we’re going baby steps here) empty calories… like my cocktails, wine and beer.  Shoulder Monkeys (and Little Rex) are resistant to change.  I’ve had a tantrum over dreaded this step .  I knew it was coming and over the last few weeks I’ve been resisting the change and procrastinating at putting my foot down, the duct tape over the Shoulder Monkeys vociferous maws and tossing Little Rex in his car seat with a pacifier.

So this week I did it.  I talked to Mr. Muse and told him that I was putting in place a “drinking day” one day a week (Fridays – that’s today!), exempting special occasions, vacations, etc… come on, I don’t have THAT much will power.  Anyway, with the new rules enacted, I’ve been pondering how I want to spend my empty calorie allotment.  Do I want wine?  A nice pear cider I picked up at Glorioso’s Italian Market in Milwaukee?  A cocktail?  I’m just not sure.  My mind is reeling at the possibilities but… I have to make it count.  I have to have it be something I’m really going to enjoy, not just drink and think “well, that wasn’t what I wanted at ALL!”

Right now, the cider or wine is in the lead, with bourbon and water on the rocks in a close third.  Decisions, Decisions.

As for you Oscar Wilde… I’ll drink to your advice soon enough.