I am, most often, a very positive person. I see the pot ‘o gold at the end of the rainbow, the silver-lining of every cloud and know, deep down, that even if a situation that I’m in is “absolute shit” – in the end, it’ll be worth having to wade up Shit Creek in boots that are too low.
But, there can be a couple problems with that outlook on life. I can be too trusting of untrustworthy people (or the polar opposite and completely UNtrusting of perfectly trustworthy people) and, I keep the wrong people in my life for too long.
That said, I have, as of late, been feeling irritated with someone who I should be calling a friend, but I find myself wishing they weren’t around and that I didn’t feel obligated to hang out with them just because they are part of the “collective” of my group of friends. They just aren’t fun to be around.
Some words and phrases that come to mind are:
-Antagonistic
-Irritating
-Rude
-run-over
-self-righteous
-angry old white dude even though they aren’t old
Today, after receiving yet another email that I interpreted (and ignored) as a “baiting” tactic into a bickering match, I had the song “Ya Got Trouble” from The Music Man pop into my head.
There’s trouble, folks. Right here in River City. Trouble with a Capitol T.
The worst of it is… I like this person’s spouse, but would NOT be at all sad or heartbroken if THEY were to… not be part of the crowd.
What a conundrum!! I feel as if I’m the only one who is thinking it and I’m afraid that I may point out the elephant in the room!! You know, “Why are you such a snarky, little ASSHOLE all of the time?!” *slaps my hands over my mouth* That would be inappropriate.
So, for now, I ignore the snarky emails. I turn away from the bear baiting, as it were. I focus my energy towards those with whom I can have a good conversation and not be plowed over being told my ideas are bullshit and wrong.
What do you do when you have a “friend” that you find you just can’t stand to be around?
Musings of the Amusing Muse 
Sounds like you are on the right path! Don’t feed the junkie and his negative agenda! Everyone has opinions but with some people they just feel the need to change your mind if your views are different ! Its a control issue! Possibly this person feels a lack of control in other parts of his life and is over compensating with the desire to control others ! Love yourself and your sanity enough to not play into his games and manipulation! Hard to believe someone would go out of their way to cause you that much annoyance ! Sending you kind and positive thoughts ! (o:
Hmm, something to think about – the control thing.
I’m not going to take the bait, so the attempts tossed at me (and they go to more than just me), will continue to be ignored.
I have come across this before. The question I ask is, Is the bear baiting mainly directed at you, or at all members of the group? Given that you are very likeable , ( and I mean that in the famous non creepy way ) it is not unlikely that others may have noticed his behaviour. Do they comment on it. You have my sympathy anyway. If you do any cooking for him, as part of a dinner party, make him some toast, my advice is to give him a very burnt piece. Hand it to him saying, “I know you like to grumble ‘X’, so I thought I’d give you something real to grumble about.” It will make the other’s laugh and ‘out’ him without being too directly aggressive
lol nice idea with the toast – however, I don’t have bread in my house. 😉 As for comments from others, only one other person has commented so far to me and we’ve kept it amongst ourselves (though Mr. Muse is seeing the same problem).
If I can’t avoid those people, I tend to find safe topics that I know we agree on and just stick to those around them. Boring, but easier.
I spend more time just sitting, listening and observing with this person and doing a lot of subject changing if I’m pressed to talk. I am guilty of interrupting a bickering match with the line, “Hey! Wanna make out? It’ll make you feel better.” Person in question decided that it was a good time to call it a night.
Oh, but what if they did?
Normally I only pull that comment out if I wouldn’t mind making out with the person in question, but knew that in this case it would cause them to “just shut up”.
You sound so , Human, it almost makes me feel normal.. Thanks for the soft landing.
I know that it is difficult to believe that I’m Human, but… yeah – definitely human. 🙂
Not hard at all.
Grandma Dorothy always said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”…time to take your toys and go home?????
If only it were that simple.
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