I’m typing this up shortly after being on the phone with someone who was having a difficult time emotionally after receiving an email from someone they dated listing “everything that was wrong” with them.
I wanted to go slap this person who sent that email.
And then I caught myself. I had placed blame on another person last week for my perceptions of how they were screwed up because of how I was feeling over their lack of action/response.
The thing is, for both of these cases, it wasn’t the fault of the person I was talking to on the phone and it wasn’t the fault of the person I was dealing with via messages… it was the fault of the person sending the email and my fault. Our need to place the blame for how we were feeling on the other person.
Indirectly, this all points to a bigger issue of people not being able to be honest with each other and to a greater point: Women are Bitches. (Yeah… don’t twist your undies yet – go read the article.)
We women need to be on the same page. When we feel we aren’t on the same page – we ask questions. A lot of questions. But ultimately it comes down to an inability to communicate to people in ways that are understandable, both for men and women.
So, as I said to the person on the phone about this email pointing out all the things that were “wrong” with them. “Fuck ’em. That’s your personality and if they can’t handle that – that is NOT your problem.”
I attempted mea culpa.
I think I just bitch-slapped myself.
On the bright side, if someone sent me an email listing all the things which are wrong with me, they would still be writing it and never get to send it but , in truth, I dislike mean, judgemental and diminishing comments so your friend has my deepest sympathy .” Let he who is without fault” etc
I agree. Humans, in general, tend toward judgmentalness – fact of life. Excuse? No. Reason? Yeah – I think so. I catch myself being judgemental from time to time and I mentally slap my wrist and tell myself to knock it off. As a species, it’s something we all need to work on.