What would you do if Martha Stewart came to your home to teach you to cook?

Seriously, I heard that question as an intro to a Martha Stewart show on Thursday night on PBS.  I literally said out loud, “I’d feel horribly inadequate.”  I was sitting there crocheting away and could only think that Martha would be judging me and my flat-sheet-cum-living-room curtains.  Hey!  The design shows do it!

Sorry Martha.  I realize you are the MAVEN of all things Domestic, but… you seem too close to my Mother in Law in your stance on what is right and what is wrong.  The afghan-covered furnishings would garner pursed-lipped disdain, while the peeling laminate of the counters in the kitchen would incur the wrath of Poseidon.   I’m sorry… we are remodeling one room at a time and haven’t gotten to the kitchen yet!

Not to mention my mismatched array of cooking gear… I shudder at the thought of the offense of lack of top of the line pots and pans.  And Martha… please don’t even head out to my barn to see my chickens…

How about you, Dear Readers?