NOTE – So… APRIL FOOLS! I mean… JULY FOOLS! Yeah, so I hit “Publish” last night when I mean “Preview”. Oopsy Whoopsy. The dangers of distracted blogging.
I considered writing up today’s post as a sharing of the second part of my sister’s eulogy, as it were, for her memorial. However, after two Friday’s in a row of rather sad posts, I decided that the fine folks (that’s you) who read my ramblings would rather I went to something other than “sad”. Admittedly, I’m sitting here, the night before I publish the post, figuratively scratching (well, half and half on the figuratively) my head about what to write that isn’t going to bring on a massive-world-wide depression epidemic.
No, my friends, I’m not depressed, but some people are just really affected by words, and that’s a lot of responsibility. So, what do I write about tonight? Well, it struck me that I’ve had a couple conversations this week that all tied into “connection”, in that we either connect with people, or we don’t.
I have an uncanny knack for getting people to reveal their deepest, darkest, truest selves. True story. I’m the person on the plane who has a seat mate start spilling their life story to me, unprompted, and I politely listen and nod my head. That said, I, much to the consternation of many a person, am a cagey motherfucker. Too much attention before I’m ready raises my hackles like a junkyard dog. I give a lengthy warning bark but you know those people who just can’t seems to figure out they’ve crossed the line? They get chased off over the fence, missing some fabric from the seat of their pants. Because of that, I can assure you that even Mr. Muse does not know everything about me (he’ll be the first to confirm).
Besides, one has to keep a little mystery in their relationships, right?
But here’s the thing, I use my powers for good and not evil. I mean, I’m not completely evil. Just, partly. A little bit evil.
But, the fact of the matter is that there are a whole lot of people I associate with on some level who think they know who I am, that we have a connection. The truth is that what they see is the little, itty-bittiest part of an iceberg (I get called frigid enough that the iceberg analogy is fitting) sticking up above the water. And you know what? I like it that way.
Which brings me to those I really do connect with, Mr Muse included, because these are people who have taken the time to be respectful, interested but not even approach the “stalker” line, and who keep everything cool. Easy breezy. They are confident. They know that if we find that we don’t jive, we can shake hands and move on. I will literally wish them well.
And now we’re back full circle to my knack of finding out many people’s deepest, darkest secret-selves. Some people take this ability of mine as my interest in them – the “big” interest. The hot-damn-she-wants-me interest. Which it’s not. *sad trombone* And then I find myself in the unfortunate position of saying, “This is not what you think it is”. We haven’t developed some deep, mystical connection, they’re just east to “read” and I happened to be paying attention.
This applies to my blog as well. What you read here it just a small portion of who I am. My blog. Conversations. Life in general.
But, one must keep a little mystery in their relationships, right?