A moment. That’s all it took: a moment. After three plus years of moderating a modeling education forum on Facebook, I found myself heading into the group to take care of some moderatorly business and the moment my eyes scanned the screen I thought, “I don’t want to do this anymore”. I no longer was enjoying myself as a moderator. I’d been there from when it consisted of a couple dozen people in the modeling industry to now almost 2,800 members. The spark was gone and it was time to make a change.
Thankfully, having already gone through one “the change” and probably at least a decade from the other “the change”, any changes that happen now are usually by my choice instead of biology. I told my other moderators that at the end of June, I was done. I’d worked the job, thankless at that, for a long time in terms of internet groups and when I was working part-time, I was putting in between 40-60 hours of time per week moderating the group. That’s a lot of unpaid hours and grief which I had to tolerate.
So what changed to bring about the change? Writing. Well, the lack of writing. The lack of time to write for this blog let alone other places asking me to submit pieces to them. Did modeling change for me you may be asking? Nope, I am still enjoying that. Modeling has been good to me, taking me to exotic locations in countries outside of the United States. I don’t want to thumb my nose at it, but I did have to ask myself if my heart was in moderating a group for which I’d lost that lovin’ feeling. I spent time chatting with a photographer who has become a dear friend and they told me it was okay to “walk away” – and they understood why I couldn’t just drop the mic and yell “Peace out” – that hasn’t ever been my style. So, I gave notice.
The time not spent moderating can now be focused on those things that I really want to work on, like learning Spanish (nine days in Costa Rica later this year… I better learn some Spanish), writing for my blog, writing for groups that have asked for me to submit pieces to them and bettering my photography. I’ll still be modeling, but that will take a back seat to the writing.
There are other changes coming as well – namely that this blog will get an updated look. I charmed one of my favorite people on the planet into creating a new header image for the blog as well as Twitter. I’m excited to make the changes here and I know they will be awesome. Change is something that makes me hesitant, but in the long run, I know that these changes which I’m making will truly benefit me. I shouldn’t be viewing change as something scary, but as an adventure.
Musings of the Amusing Muse 
And sometimes you just have to step back and smell the roses !!! 🙂
Yes, yes you do! And I do, too. Speaking of roses – mine survived winter AND flowered – I also need to buy another one to add to my collection… something nice and “stinky” that I can smell across the yard.
This stepping away from moderating will be a good thing and allow me to focus on those things that really matter to me right now. Writing is definitely one of those things.
You’re a savvy young lady so I also don’t need to remind you of the fact that by the decisions we make we all control our on destiny. Sometimes we have to take control of that destiny which you have. 🙂 Move forward with your heart !
Yes speaking of roses and irises ours were some of the best ever last year and this. Got out on NGD and did some pruning and work about the backyard. Kim said it was a photo op moment and recorded a few of the moments for sharing with like minded friends. Just a shame that all yard work can’t be enjoyed naturally.
lol I wouldnt DARE venture out for yardwork in my yard sans covering – WAY too many insects that bite right now. And most of my flower beds are next to the road.
My irises also did great this year! Some finally flowered for the first time since I planted them after buying them at an Iris Society sale a few years ago. I have one variety called, “Venetian Glass“, that the flowers on it just blow me away with how gorgeous they are!
You don’t have to worry about that biological change anytime soon – our favorite Auntie M said it happens in our family when you are 52 and she was right…the power of suggestion?
Congratulations on making the decision time for someone to step up to the plate and take their turn “at bat”. Most of my irises are finished but the peonies are mid bloom. We definitely have had enough rain. Next up – Lilies. Yeah!!!!
LOL Auntie M’s word is nearly gospel, right?
And thank you! It’s time.
My irises and peonies, all, are done. “Hermione” was loaded this year and “Karl Rosenfield” did better this year. My other varieties are still poking along, growing but not flowering – plus I dug up and moved a few plants so they are shocky. I’m waiting for my daylilies to start – the flower stalks are coming!
Good for you! Glad you recognized what was draining and decided to make a change.
I’m in a similar boat, where I recently spoke to my boss about needing to cut my hours so that I can dedicate more time to focusing on building a business. I was nervous as hell, but glad that I broke through that and followed my heart.
So, thanks for sharing your story! Yo go, girl!!!!!!
Thank you, Jennifer! And I can only imagine how nerve-wracking that had to be, but I’m glad you pulled through it. What an adventure you’re taking on!!