It occurred to me this evening that there is a whole lot going on in my life that would cause a lot of people to flip-the-fuck-out. Me? Eh…. it is what it is. But as I grazed on my steak salad for dinner, sipping my gin & tonic and caught up with the events of the day I thought of these things:
- I’m working a full time job where I’m around people constantly and basically I went from being alone 80% of my waking hours to only 15% of my waking hours. I like people, but they all just need to GO AWAY for 80% of my waking hours.
- I have one cat with Renal Disease who has decided to pee in the bathtub from time to time, perhaps because the tub is closer to where he is at that moment than the litterbox. Better the tub than the carpet, but still.
- The other cat is dealing with seasonal allergies. She’s itchy constantly, has scratched herself raw and is puking up hairballs in delightful shapes on the carpet… the couch… the loveseat… all because she’s grooming herself (and she’s got long hair) more than normal. It’s great.
- It’s hot. And humid.
- I moderate a model education forum on Facebook and am essentially a “Babysitter”… and I have to make sure people play nice and by the rules. These are supposed to be adults. Adults – they can be worse than kids…
- (Insert item I can’t speak/write here.)
- Syria. And a friend in the military who…. I can’t write about anything lest The Suits show up at the front door and drag me out in my Stewie Griffin pajamas. I don’t know nothin’. No really, haven’t heard from the friend since this all began.
- I have a pimple… and it hurts. And I’m 37 and this is TOTALLY not fair! Maybe it’s because I still eat cheese and I’m lactose intolerant? Sonofa…!!!
- My eyes are bloodshot and my under-eyes are turning dark because of seasonal allergies. However, I giggle every morning when I take my snort of Veramyst in the bathroom and rub my finger under my nose because it looks like it came straight out of a movie where someone was snorting coke*.
- Apathy becomes me. No really – I don’t give a shit. That’s what made me great at collections when I did that and what made me great at getting people to send in paperwork today. I don’t care about the sob stories.
- I really DO give a shit for some people. Some. Not everyone. I’m not completely heartless. I should know, my heart has been worked on twice – I’ve seen it on the operating room monitors. (PS – those drugs are good.)
- I get my eyebrows “did” tomorrow… which always makes my eyes water and I walk out looking like a hot mess with runny mascara.
- My interdigital hair is growing back.
- So is my mustache.**
But you know what? I stopped eating tons of Peanut M&Ms all day at work. I’ve gone the whole week (so far) without eating a single one. And that makes everything okay.
These ramblings have been brought to you by…. oh, they’ve just been rattling around in my head for the last hour and needed to be let out to romp.
*I’ve never done coke/cocaine.
**Yes, women get facial hair – and yes, some of us just shave it off. Is the mystery from our relationship gone?
P.S. – as I was reviewing this post, my gin & tonic attacked me.