I’ve reached that point of winter where I’m longing for Spring to arrive.  No, not even the first day of Spring that greets us in two days, but the actual SPRING, when the snow melts, I can plant peas and spinach, and then the ground warms and I can plant more veggies.  There is nothing like the scent of warming soil on a Spring day.  I find it invigorating.  I get inspired to work too hard, too soon and plant way too much.

I find another reason that I’m waiting for Spring.  I’ve been laid off of work due to lack of work since around Thanksgiving.  A recent phone conversation with my employer essentially boiled down to: we want you back here in the office, but we don’t know when that will be and it might only be 1-2 days a week.  I was told that they understood if I found something else, though they hoped I wouldn’t have to.

Oof dah.  That puts me in a bit of a pickle.  There is something to be said for loyalty, but I also have to look out for what’s best for Mr. Muse and me.

I really like where I work.  It’s flexible; if I need a day (or a week) off or have a doctors appointment, etc., I just say that I can’t work or need to leave early or will be in late, and everything is peachy keen.  The guys I work with are fun, I get to wear comfortable (jeans, tank tops and flip flops) clothes, the contractors are mostly great and well, I’m paid what I’m worth.  Pretty sweet, right?

But, last year’s drought was hard on the company.  If people’s rain gutters aren’t leaking, they don’t call, if they don’t call, we don’t have work.  The owners have been cutting back on expenses and while there is some work, there just isn’t enough to bring me into the office.  And there is my pickle – what do I do?  Do I wait out the lack of work, collect unemployment until it runs out and hope that I get called back for at least 2 days a week, or do I look for something else?

I started updating my resume.  I started scanning the want ads to see what was out there for work.  I’m struggling with writing my employer and saying that I HAVE updated my resume and am starting to look at what is available.

Mr. Muse and I have plans, and while years ago we opted to “less money and more free time” by having me work part-time, the “part-time” we were hoping for was 3-4 days a week to help facilitate those plans.  It would give me a day to take care of the yard, the house, etc., and would keep our evenings and weekends free for other things.  When knocked back to an average of 2 days a week for the last two years, plans get put on hold.  Mr. Muse now has more plans for starting up a woodworking service, where I would be the CFO and potentially his “Helper Monkey” in the shop (yes, I know my way around power tools… *insert joke here*).  While the work he’d be doing would be in the evenings and on weekends, where he spends most of his free time during the warmer months anyway, the bookkeeping and day-to-day items would mean I would need time during the day.  So do I look for part-time work again, or full-time, leaving less time to work on his workworking service business and less time for everything else?

And as I ponder all of that, I look out the window and see the snow blanketing the raised beds and I don’t want to think about jobs and money.  I don’t want to think about starting up a business.  I don’t want to think about the sacrifices that will need to be made  or the discipline it will all require.

I can only think of planting some seeds in warm soil and watching things grow.  I can picture a new group of baby chicks, some destined to live as egg-layers for a few years and others to feed Mr. Muse and I during the winter months.  I can picture goats in the pasture, eating my nemesis, Poison Ivy, and of me perhaps learning to make goat cheese.

Deep down, I know that both jobs and gardens come down to putting in the time.  Planting seeds in fertile ground and tending them until they mature and, hopefully, produce well.  Earning a paycheck and self-sufficiency all require tough decisions, hard work and can leave one exhausted at the end of the day.  I can only hope that that exhaustion comes with a feeling of satisfaction.

I’m here… ready and waiting for Spring.