Speak up, Sonny!

“So today, they were torturing the Martians in Middleton.”

That is the statement that a few months ago renewed the “Sarah, you need to have your hearing checked” speeches.  You see, while I heard, “So today, they were torturing the Martians in Middleton”, followed it with an incredulous look and sputtered out, “WHAT?!  Torturing Martians?  WHO was torturing Martians?  What Martians?” that is not, in fact, what DH had said.  For those who don’t have this hearing issue, the actual statement was: “So today, they were torching the marshes in Middleton.”

Close, but no cigar, Gracie.

Wait, what?  I didn’t quite hear you.

Those poor Martians…  Well, anyway.  I was having trouble for the last few years hearing what DH (and a few others) were saying.  Oh, I’d come close to hearing about those torched marshes, but all I kept hearing was tortured Martians.  Really everything just started to sound like any adult on The Peanuts videos… “Wah wahhh wah wah wah wahhh.”

Going out with friends to noisy dining establishments had me doing a lot of smiling and nodding and really not hearing what people were saying.  I started to watch their mouths more just so I could hopefully make out what they were saying.  There were times where someone would lean toward me and saying something and it would go a bit like this:

Them – Wah wahh wah wah wah whahh.

Me – What?

Them – Wah wahh wah wah wah whahh.

Me – What?  I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time hearing you.

Them – *sigh*  Wahwah wah.

And there you have it.  With DH there were additional, “What?”  “Huh?” and “What did you say?” besides my confirming that he was talking about tortured Martians.

So I caved.  At my last physical I told the doctor what was going on with my hearing.  She asked me a variety of questions:

“Do you have trouble hearing the TV?”
     No, I actually turn it down

“Do you have trouble hearing people in restaurants or bars?”
     Yes, all the time… and stores like Menards or Home Depot… high ceilings, air handlers humming, etc..

“Do you have ear pain and/or ringing?”
     Yep… once in a while.

So, I was sent off to make an appointment with Audiology.  I couldn’t get in for a full month, so I made my appointment and went in on the chosen day.  I got into the tiny, insulated and padded room (there was no straight jacket involved).  The Audiologist asked me a variety of questions and then hooked me up to the hearing device and I went through the testing.

The conclusion?  My hearing is above normal in functionality.  I have an issue with background noise.  All those years of concerts, screeching machinery and living in a college dorm haven’t ruined my hearing completely, or at all as a matter of fact.

So, if we’re having a conversation in a noisy location, expect me to ask you to speak up or repeat yourself…. or I need to invest in and ear horn.

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About The Amusing Muse

Deep thinker whose mind operates at warped speed. Philosopher pondering the big (and little) things in life. Storyteller. Office Ninja. Model. Teller of bad jokes. User of big words.
This entry was posted in Humor, Musings, Personal, Random Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Speak up, Sonny!

  1. jsvexperimental says:

    Unfortunately, only a very select group of individuals will understand the reference to “no cigar, Gracie.”

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