I love my sleep.  I don’t make up stories about that fact; I love my sleep and I don’t like anyone to mess with it.  I get downright ugly when my sleep has been interrupted… or at least I want to get ugly about it those times that I can’t.

There are people who go through life thinking that it’s incredibly “cute” to poke at a sleeping bear.  It’s not.  When that “bear” is a person, while it may not result in losing your life, it is just as ugly.

I had my sleep interrupted.  In a setting where I was around people I had just met.  My sleep was interrupted by someone who should know better… and I ended up with bruises.

This past weekend I was at a bachelorette party for a friend and at the party I met people I’d never met before.  When around people I’m just meeting, even at a casual event, I try to keep to a certain level of decorum when it comes to my behavior.  You know… no farting or belching, refraining from swearing excessively (like a sailor) and not pummeling people who decide they should wake me up once I’ve fallen asleep because they’re of the opinion I’ll be more comfortable in a different position.

I’d been up late on Thursday evening, baking sourdough bread, which I was asked to bring as my contribution to the weekends festivities.  I got 5 hours of sleep.  Friday, after waking at 5 AM, working all day and then driving 6 hours (including time to eat dinner) to the location of the party and then staying up until 2 AM… I got 5 hours of sleep.

I’ve pulled a 48-hours-being-awake marathon before (my trip to Croatia), and the excitement of traveling internationally for the first time outweighed the exhaustion I was feeling.  Oh, I caught cat-naps here and there on the flight, but not actual sleep.  This was different.  I didn’t leave the state.  I was just really tired.  I fell asleep sitting upright on the couch on Saturday night as conversation buzzed around me.  I floated in and out of sleep, catching bits of conversation (that seemed to be comments about my falling asleep), but falling right back into sleep once again.  Then it happened.  My friend M, who was sitting next to me, grabbed my leg and told me I should lay down because I’d be more comfortable.  I bruise fairly easily and I now have finger-shaped bruises on my thigh.  *sigh*  I stayed sitting upright and went back to sleep.  I was comfortable.

On the ride back home on Sunday, the topic of my falling asleep was brought up.  So, I laughed and played it off as no big deal, but did make it known that my initial reaction upon being waked when I’m not ready is, “Why the FUCK are you waking me up?!”  I also made it known that not even marital relations happen if I’m waken up from my slumber.  Apparently this was a surprise.

Sleep is one thing I get really cranky about and I don’t like to be waken unless there is a damn good reason for it.

Reasons that are acceptable to wake me from sleeping:

• The house is on fire.
• Tornado.
• I have obviously got to go to the bathroom as I’ve started to relieve myself in my sleep.

None of the above has ever happened, but I think all would be good reasons to wake me up.  Firstly, fire and tornadoes are bad and could result in loss of life.  Peeing in the bed, while not life-threatening, it’s not a good thing.

Reasons that are not acceptable to wake me from sleeping:

• Any other possible excuse you can think of that is not included on the list of acceptable reasons… as long as I would not suffer loss of life.

So there you have it.  Do not poke at or otherwise disturb the slumber of a bear… or in this case, me, unless of course you want to deal with me when I’ve been waked before I’m ready.

…suddenly I have the feeling I’ve shattered some fantasies out there…