Sexy is as sexy does

“Sexy”.  What does that word make you think of?  I read an article today in In Style Magazine where the top twelve (by the magazines choosing) sexiest celebrities were asked how they defined “sexy”.

So, of course, this got me pondering about what I think “sexy” means to me.  Sexy is a word I hear bandied about frequently in the modeling world.  “OHhh!  That’s Sexy!” is tossed out in appreciation of a pose or a look; in my world though, for myself, sexy is much more than that.

I’m admittedly a shallow person when it comes to other people.   Now, before people get all “Ohh, Sarah!  You’re not shallow!”, let me explain.  I believe most, if not all people, at first glance, are shallow.  They base their  level of desire of getting to know you based upon looks – at first.  If I were out at a bar and someone I thought was very unattractive approached me (and I was lookin for love), I’d be much less inclined to talk to them.  If I was just there to talk, a person’s physical appearance plays a much lesser part, but is still integral in how I, or anyone, treats the people we meet for the first time.

When we find someone attractive, we’re much more inclined to speak to them and generally, if they are interesting, we want to spend more time with them.  When we’re younger, we’re driven by physical attractiveness of the other person.  We find someone attractive, we want to spend time with them, lack of ability to carry on a conversation be damned!

As we, well, in this case I’ll just use myself, get older, we find people who engage our brain much more attractive than those who are merely attractive physically.  I was engaged in conversation with a female friend recently who is a few years my junior.  She’s in the dating pool, and finds that a lot of the men she attracts and is attracted to, are younger than she is, some more than 5 years younger.  I’ve had younger men hit on me at bars, and I just want to smile and pat their cheek saying, “Awww, you’re so cute.  How old are you?”

I’ve always felt older than I was growing up and was much more inclined to have a conversation with adults than people my own age.  So, what does that mean?  I find people older than myself, who have life experience and an ability to carry on a conversation much more attractive than young bucks with something to prove.  People who have confidence in their abilities and skills are attractive.  A person who is capable is sexy.

That’s “sexy” to me; it’s not all tied up with attractiveness, which can come about, and often does, when my mind has been engaged.  Sexy is confidence, that “I got this” confidence than comes with experience.  Sexy is a sense of humor about life and oneself.  Sexy is being able to have a conversation with someone, both being able to talk about oneself or to ask about another.  Sexy is being able to sit in silence and not be uncomfortable.  Sexy is strength of mind and character; charisma.

Incidentally, I dislike the comment “sexy” on photos for modeling.  I find it akin to pandering and completely unhelpful.  Since I have my own personal definition of “sexy”, someone saying an image is just that doesn’t  equate for me.  What’s sexy about it?  Please define.  As I have heard put to so many young children, “Use your words.”

So what is sexy to you?

and just for grins…

About The Amusing Muse

Deep thinker whose mind operates at warped speed. Philosopher pondering the big (and little) things in life. Storyteller. Office Ninja. Model. Teller of bad jokes. User of big words.
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2 Responses to Sexy is as sexy does

  1. I agree with you and I recall working with a gentleman that was in his mid fifties when I was in my twenties and he would comment on attractive women and I didn’t see it but as he explained as you get older the range of attractive increases. Now I always viewed myself as a bit odd because it was not the killer body that attracted me to someone or made me think they were sexy, it was the eyes. A woman with a killer bod and vacant eyes just does not get my attention but a woman with a twinkle, playful or mischievous look to her eyes, add to that a natural look does. In my opinion it is harder to fool someone with the eyes, I think you tend to see more what the person is.

    • The eyes definitely have it, and in my photos I’m often receiving comments that I’ve a mischievous look about me, a twinkle in my eyes… the smirk. I have a hard time trying to keep the twinkle subdued and the smirk off my face.

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