“Sexy”. What does that word make you think of? I read an article today in In Style Magazine where the top twelve (by the magazines choosing) sexiest celebrities were asked how they defined “sexy”.
So, of course, this got me pondering about what I think “sexy” means to me. Sexy is a word I hear bandied about frequently in the modeling world. “OHhh! That’s Sexy!” is tossed out in appreciation of a pose or a look; in my world though, for myself, sexy is much more than that.
I’m admittedly a shallow person when it comes to other people. Now, before people get all “Ohh, Sarah! You’re not shallow!”, let me explain. I believe most, if not all people, at first glance, are shallow. They base their level of desire of getting to know you based upon looks – at first. If I were out at a bar and someone I thought was very unattractive approached me (and I was lookin for love), I’d be much less inclined to talk to them. If I was just there to talk, a person’s physical appearance plays a much lesser part, but is still integral in how I, or anyone, treats the people we meet for the first time.
When we find someone attractive, we’re much more inclined to speak to them and generally, if they are interesting, we want to spend more time with them. When we’re younger, we’re driven by physical attractiveness of the other person. We find someone attractive, we want to spend time with them, lack of ability to carry on a conversation be damned!
As we, well, in this case I’ll just use myself, get older, we find people who engage our brain much more attractive than those who are merely attractive physically. I was engaged in conversation with a female friend recently who is a few years my junior. She’s in the dating pool, and finds that a lot of the men she attracts and is attracted to, are younger than she is, some more than 5 years younger. I’ve had younger men hit on me at bars, and I just want to smile and pat their cheek saying, “Awww, you’re so cute. How old are you?”
I’ve always felt older than I was growing up and was much more inclined to have a conversation with adults than people my own age. So, what does that mean? I find people older than myself, who have life experience and an ability to carry on a conversation much more attractive than young bucks with something to prove. People who have confidence in their abilities and skills are attractive. A person who is capable is sexy.
That’s “sexy” to me; it’s not all tied up with attractiveness, which can come about, and often does, when my mind has been engaged. Sexy is confidence, that “I got this” confidence than comes with experience. Sexy is a sense of humor about life and oneself. Sexy is being able to have a conversation with someone, both being able to talk about oneself or to ask about another. Sexy is being able to sit in silence and not be uncomfortable. Sexy is strength of mind and character; charisma.
Incidentally, I dislike the comment “sexy” on photos for modeling. I find it akin to pandering and completely unhelpful. Since I have my own personal definition of “sexy”, someone saying an image is just that doesn’t equate for me. What’s sexy about it? Please define. As I have heard put to so many young children, “Use your words.”
So what is sexy to you?
and just for grins…