I decided that a warning was in order. All evil geniuses give warning that they’re going to take over the world. Why not me? I’ve been formulating my plan for hours now, and it stands to reason that if two mice can come up with a nightly scheme to take over the world, that it was only logical that I, too, could come up with a plan.
So… You’ve been warned. My plans, while much are afterthoughts because I’ve already accomplished them, are fairly scattered about and come to mind when I think to myself, “Hmm, that should be my next step in world domination”. I think it fair that I lay out some of my primary objectives, boasting my awesomeness at having already accomplished them.
- Grace the world with my presence. In other words, I “got born”. I was supposed to enter the world on February 29th, but my work order for nice weather that day was lost and a blizzard happened instead. Due to the nasty weather, and to ensure my safe entrance, I decided to hide myself from the public for another 12 days. My Mom tells me that the day I made my entrance, the sun was shining for the first time in days.
- Go to School. This is a tremendously important part of the plan, as I had to learn how to communicate with those whom I’m planning on ruling. Granted, I really only know English, but by the time my plans really come together, Translator Microbes will have been invented, allowing me to communicate and understand all languages. Pretty sweet, huh?
- Learn to Drive. Vehicles are the predominant form of travel, therefore, I had to learn how to operate one. Oh, by the way, if you don’t know how to drive a manual transmission now, I recommend you learn. I’m banning automatic transmission vehicles once I take over the world.
- Learn how NOT to drown. HA! You thought I’d say “learn how to swim”! Well, let me tell you… I know how NOT to drown. Especially in salt water (trying to dive in salt water, for me, is akin to running into a brick wall…).
- Make friends with a lot of engineers. Done and done! When your plans involve taking over the world, it’s good to surround yourself with useful minions. I happen to have a lot of minions…. um… friends. Yes, I happen to have a lot of friends who are engineers… Electrical, Mechanical, Chemical, Aerospace, Software…
- Read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. That’s it. That’s the only part of this step… read the book. I’ve done that.
- Travel. I do that. I like to travel. Travel allows me to see how the various locations around the world operate, and how I might best transition these areas to my rule.
- Networking. Glad-handing. Press the flesh (oh… well, that makes me think of other things… but I digress). Go get ’em, Tiger! Meet people…. Win friends and influence them… to do my bidding.
- Utilize Social Media. Create a buzz about myself. I have so many outlets for this… Hey, if you’re reading this – this is one of those outlets! Hooray!
- Be Mysterious. I’m a very private social butterfly. Contradictory? Perhaps. I may have a lot of social outlets, but not everyone is allowed into the “inner sanctum” (again… that makes me think of other things…. shame on me). Socially, I hang with only my closest minions… um, I mean friends.
So there it is… a taste of my completed steps in my bid for world domination. Where do you fit in, Dear Reader? Show me your skills! Get in on the ground floor! (Hmm… I think I’m at least on the second floor by now) Applications are always being accepted for perusal for new Minions…. Friends. I meant friends…