It’s official. Two hours of my morning were spent on the Metrolink from Los Angeles’ Union Station to Palmdale, CA, and in that two hours, I have learned MORE about: gangs, gangbangers, AK47’s (the guns and the gang), meth, cocaine, bitches, Ho’s, jails, prisons, running from the police and parole officers. I have learned more than I thought I would ever know in my lifetime, and probably more than I ever NEEDED to know.
I also learned how to have a 2-hour conversation consisting mostly of the words: Yo, dawg, bitch(es), ho(s), Foo(l), nigga, brother, and Fuck in its muriad forms. I may have lost a few dendrites in my brain… and probably some IQ points. I hope I’m still a genius after this morning.
I also learned that at least one of the self-proclaimed gangbangers is also a genius. I know, I hear your brain working around that…. mine did, too. He was boasting that while in jail, he was “tested in every subject” and he was “so damn smart” they were telling him “[he] should go to college, but guns, bitches and drugs was all [he] wanted to do”. Yes, I WAS impressed! He was keeping things in the family, after all, as he also stated that his mother and grandmother were also in gangs; in fact, his whole family was in gangs. That’s special right there.
I spent the two hours on the commuter rail, suppressing laughter, lest I get a cap popped in my ass, and making faces at my Dear Husband, who was trying his best not to turn and see just who this Fool was, bragging about his time in a Super Max Prison. I was bemused at the utter contradiction when the one who was doing pretty much all of the talking, was rambling on and on about all the “bitches and hos lining up to get wit’ [him]” and all the ones who already had his name tattooed somewhere on their person, when he started to talk about one “Ho” in particular. This “Ho”, apparently is “real high-class” and has “colored eyes” (green, we later find out), but has a man who beats her, “… and Dawgs… dat is jus dis-ruh-spek-fal” (I had to write that phonetically). Disrespectful you say? Oh, I see… “Bitch” and “Ho” don’t fall into that category. Thank you for informing me!
So, that was how I spent most of my morning in Los Angeles. I can’t say I’m in a hurry to get back to the city proper. Was I afraid for my safety on the train? No. If they had tried something I would have subdued them with my superb vocabulary, long enough to deliver a well-placed knee and elbow. That, and there were 3 Los Angeles County Sheriff’s patrolling the train. Someone called ahead.
These “geniuses” are a detriment to themselves, mostly. The rest of the world is just inconvenienced by them. Ladies… if a man (and I use that term loosely) calls you a “Bitch” or a “Ho”… pop a cap in his ass and send him packing. Peace!