I have felt like a post has been bubbling away in the back of my head much like the volcanic mud pots in Yellowstone. An occasional splut or splat along with some sulfuric gasses. Interesting to watch but doesn’t really do much. Maybe, probably, this inability to put thoughts to paper – or screen – is all related to stress about everything in the world. Maybe.

Probably.

Let’s go back in time a little bit. In the fall of 2018 I went back to school for a degree in Accounting. I was also going to yoga classes several times a week, getting lean and nailing those asanas. I was feel fine as wine, on the Dean’s list, and all was well.

Then we had a nasty flu season in the winter of 2019 and as we are all still aware, as we are still in it, the pandemic took over our lives. My yoga studio ultimately closed forever, school shifted to online-only instruction, and masks all day, every day forever and ever.

Being the “all in” kind of person I am, when I wasn’t working at my job, I was working at freelance jobs and I was working on school work. Ten hour days of near-solid studying and schooling were normal. Did I maintain my high GPA and Dean’s List status and graduate with honors? Absolutely. And by December of 2021 I was pretty sure that I was on the verge of an ulcer. And maybe a nervous breakdown.

And, because I’m great at ignoring all the signs that I need to actually take a break and rest or relax, I kept pushing (after a course of omeprazole to get the likely-forming ulcer under control – and it hasn’t been back). But, I admit I was having too many weekends of drinking too heavily because if you refuse to do what you need to do (*cough* rest) and keep on pushing, you gotta numb the feelings you’re struggling with!

Okay, you don’t, but like many people, I did and that’s bad. And yes – it’s all good now. I don’t feel the need to go into it further. Let’s just say I have learned that I’m dealing with issues from a long time ago.

Then, there was 2022 and a new job, and an adventure in the Bighorn Mountains of Wyoming, and realizing that I needed to learn to sit with uncomfortable things and reflect on them and listen to my body and at least one area of my brain telling me that taking a break isn’t laziness. It’s essential. And that being a constant whir of motion was doing me no favors.

Perhaps it’s just that there are too many potential subjects about which I could write and like a stream blocked up with detritus from a storm, it’s just a minimal trickle that’s getting through. Given the drought we’re having in the USA, still, I’d say it’s plausible reasoning.

With what appears to be the implosion of a few various social media platforms, I was feeling the need to revisit this blog. I’ve been remiss and inattentive. Okay, I admit that I’ve been busy and burned out and have felt like it’s one more thing demanding something of me. But, even cactus need water once in a while and a blog needs a post

It’s been a helluva rollercoaster these last few years, but I’m still here. Now, to figure out where I go next.

For those who are new here, welcome. For those who have patiently stuck around? Thank you.

The Amusing Muse is a Jane-of-all-trades on double-secret probation living in Southern Wisconsin. An avid reader, she also writes and does arithmetic, along with being a damn fine rabbit-hole-spelunker. She’s still looking for a new yoga studio.