Apparently my response to the #YesAllWomen campaign took some people aback. It was pointed out that the post was quite personal. Fair enough.
Blogs are personal by their very nature. Those in the blogging community, anyone who writes actually, puts something of themselves into everything they write. As much as I try to keep my musings light in nature – sometimes the heavy stuff needs to be addressed. Sometimes heavy things make people uncomfortable. But, because some people were uncomfortable, I feel a tad bit obligated to give the rest of the story, so here goes.
I am fine. Not the “I’m fine” that people make jokes about when a woman says it and she’s really quite far from fine. I’m really, truly fine. I’ve even been to a therapist who has told me that he’s pretty certain I didn’t even need to see him because I’m “handling everything extraordinarily well”. I do not have PTSD. I do not have depression. I have no suicidal or homicidal thoughts. I haven’t become a recluse from fear of the “what if”. In fact, I’m known for my happy, joyful demeanor.
I am a Taoist and it fits my nature with it’s very logical, open-minded and accepting way of looking at life. I don’t lament “why do bad things happen to good people” and wring my hands. I accept what was, is and whatever will be as it comes.
Sometimes that means: Shit happens.
But, if everyone that anything bad ever happened to just sat down in defeat and cried over it, nothing would get done in this world. We can be a victim or a survivor, and believe me – I’m way too stubborn and feisty to play victim.
When people are determined, they can overcome fate; when the
will is unified, it can mobilize energy. Enlightened people do not
even let nature put them in a set mold. – Taoist saying
So, as my Mom would say to me when I was thrown from a horse or pony, “Dust yourself off and get right back on, otherwise you’ll teach them they can toss you off whenever they want.” So, if Life throws me, I sit up, get my bearings, stand up – sometimes rather stiffly, dust myself off and get right back on. Oh sure, a horse once sent me to the ER in an ambulance, but eventually I did make my way back onto another horse, stomping down the panic that was threatening to rise the whole ride. But I stomped it pretty good.
So what do I do? I’ve taken to using a tongue-in-cheek version of the “What would Jesus do?” phrase that I see so many unChristianlike-Christians tossing about: What would Spock do?
I’m not a Star Trek fan. I’ve watched an episode here and there, but Spock was always my favorite character (alongside Scottie) because when people would let their emotions run unchecked, Spock would step in and point out that they were being illogical. So, I say to myself, “Sarah, what would Spock do?” This causes me a great deal of amusement at how ridiculous it initially sounds. But it also causes me to stop the “Crazy Train” of thoughts, think about where that train is headed (usually to Crazytown… not a good place to go), and begin to think about what is going on in a logical and rational manner. I’ve even employed this phrase with friends who are running alongside their own Crazy Train trying to jump on-board.
The logical, rational way to think about life, for me, is that Life isn’t fair. Bad things DO happen to good people. We’re all broken in our own spectacularly beautiful ways. How we recover from the brokenness is up to us. For me – I liken my recovery from Life’s breaking to kintsugi, the Japanese practice/art of repairing broken pottery with gold (or other precious metals). What was once in pieces is made whole again so even the “cracks” are beautiful.
Unexpected hardship refines people; if you can accept it, both
mind and body will benefit. If you cannot accept it, on the other
hand, both mind and body will be harmed. – Taoist saying
We all get knocked down, and sometimes knocked out temporarily, but in the end – there are far more really wonderful things that happen. Yesterday, for example, I drove past hayfields that had been cut, the long rows filled the air with their sweet scent and I breathed it in deeply. The birds are singing as I write this. I’m alive and mobile and Life is pretty damned great. A few “shit happens” moments won’t stop me from get back on for the ride and living Life to the fullest.
And now you know the rest of the story. – Paul Harvey