Bloomers are a good idea.
Now, just you stop and hear me out, okay. Why would I say that bloomers, of all things, are a good idea? Well, since I have taken this new job that actually has a dress code in place, I’m no longer able to amble into work wearing jeans, tank tops and flip flops. Now, I’m surrounded by suits and skirts and dresses.
Not that I didn’t own these items of clothing before, but now that I’m wearing them all the time, and the fact that it’s summer, I have come to realize that unless you’re a high fashion model walking the catwalk, the average person, myself included, has thighs that actually rub together.
I thought about getting some Spanx, but the problem with those is that they are tight. It’s summer, I am a real-live human being and I sweat. (I know, another bit of the magic is gone.) If you’ve never worn contour-wear the likes of Spanx, then you don’t understand what it’s like trying to wrestle your way out of, and back into, what is essentially called a “foundation piece” in modern society that appears to be manufactured of some sort of mutant, space-age spandex that clings to every skin cell when you have to pee really badly… on a hot day. Also, I really enjoy breathing. Breathing is good. Spanx are not conducive to breathing.
Enter the Bloomer. That’s right. Cool, loose-fitting, cotton bloomers. Just long enough so they don’t show under the skirt or dress, but long enough to keep the thighs from rubbing together and sending up smoke signals on those 80 degree plus days with high humidity. Oh, the extreme Feminists might clutch their pearls in horror and declare that Bloomers represent misogyny and old-fashioned behavior, but I say that bloomer represent comfort and not having to reach for the bottle of Gold Bond powder to soothe the burn as soon as I walk in the door after work. By the way, go read about the development of the bloomer – those women who wore them were thumbing their noses at more restrictive clothing.
Bloomers seem to be making a comeback in at least one venue: bicycling. Check out Bicycle Bloomers! I also had someone send me a link one time for a sister-in-law’s bicycle bloomer business (maybe ex sister in law) – I’d be happy to post that link again because the bloomers were awesome!
Now, if bloomers can make a comeback for bicycling, I think they can make a comeback for the office as well. I think I’ll be on the lookout for a nice pair of bloomers in the weeks to come – or I’ll just end up making my own!
What is a clothing item that you just can’t live without?
What is an item of clothing that you want but can’t seem to find?