Mmm, delicious, hot, straight-up-black-no-cream-or-sugar coffee. Quarter-caff. Wonderfulness in a mug, a big 14 oz mug. Which is why mine is quarter caff, otherwise I’d be buzzing like The Great Cornholio on cappucino.
This morning finds me mellow once again. Not a bad thing at all. I’ve been stressing out about a variety of things for a couple weeks and I had good conversations with Mr. Muse, DazyLady and another acquaintance-come-friend that I’ve gotten to know pretty well over the last few months.
I stressed about the work search. I stressed about feeling like I should be getting calls on my totally awesome resume, and I wasn’t. I stressed that in this market, the salary range I was asking was too high even though I researched the averages for the area and it’s officially “average”. I stressed that companies that do call are going to be run by micro-managing douchebags, so much so that I researched questions to ask the interviewers so I can hopefully avoid that situation entirely. I’m settled down about all that now, because I want to take time to find the RIGHT job for me.
Then, folks… something really cool happened. I got an invite to be part of the staff for Bare Necessities next Caribbean cruise in February 2014. Mr. Muse and I are officially “maybe’s” but it looks like it will turn into “Yes’s”. Our friends were trying to arrange for a cruise during the same time-frame and Mr. Muse and I thought, well, if we could find a Florida cruise where we either got back the day before the Bare Necessities cruise left, or left the day the BN cruise got back, that would save us airfare! Our friends came through and sent an email with some cruise choices all falling into our hoped-for date ranges and…. we might very well be doing two back-to-back cruises!! HOLY CRAP! Then, I stressed about money for airfare, hotel, port fees and taxes, a cabin on board… you get the whole idea. ACK! It’ll happen. I’ll get a job, and everything will work out.
My stressing didn’t end there. I moderate a modeling education group on Facebook and people post images and look for critiques on the images they post. Folks, I have to bite my tongue with so many comments because I just want to blurt out, “That’s some nice objectification there, Captain Uncouth.” I have found that I DETEST comments that are or follow the same tack as, “Wow! This is so hot!” SCREW THAT! Quit ogling the model, grow a pair of balls and actually describe what you like about the image besides the fact that you need two minutes alone with a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues. I hate that. Can you tell? Is it obvious? I really hate that.
And here’s the thing – growing up, between movies, television and the smut books I raced through, I thought that women were supposed to love hearing “Wow! That/You is/are so hot!” Want to know what it does to me? It makes my skin crawl and then I envision the douchebag who said it, sitting in a dark room taking some personal time with their lotion and tissues. Sadly, however, it’s not just the men – women are now commenting on images like this too! Come ON people – use your words. Don’t make me break out, “That’s some nice objectification there, Captain Uncouth.”
It makes me really angry that these people work in the model photography industry and all that they can come up with is, “Wow! That is so hot!”
So, growing up and being brainwashed into thinking that it was acceptable for people to objectify you with their words has really thrown me for a loop. It also makes me angry. Sarah angry! I have a fucking AMAZING mind and I’m not afraid to use it.
I even found myself realizing that someone I feel is a friend (maybe “was” a friend, now) was doing that whole objectification thing with me and I finally put my big girl Under Roos on about it and told them to knock it off because it made me uncomfortable. Every time I write the word “uncomfortable” in regards to anything sexual, I always think of a Sexual Harassment course I had to take at a previous job as part of the training. There was a line regarding what you say to people in the workplace, and how you should always assume that talk, even jokes, of a sexual nature are “Unwanted. Unwanted. Unwanted.”
Stop objectifying people. It’s unwanted. That means you, too, ladies. Oh, I was guilty of it in my youth, a poster of a baby-oil drenched cowboy taped to my dorm room wall. I see all those posts on the Book of Faces… more baby-oil drenched men dressed as firemen with comments of “YEAH! Come put out my fire!” Bullshit. If you can’t say that directly to their face – why are you saying it in writing to a photo?
Hmm, my post has taken a turn, hasn’t it?
I guess where I’m going with this is… if you want to say someone looks nice that day, that’s all you have to say. “Wow, you look really nice today.” Don’t diminish the compliment with something douchey and turn it into something sexual. To quote Chris Czarnik from his book, The Human Search Engine, “Remember, you can’t push your way into an organization; you have to be invited.” Now apply that to your relationships with people – you can’t push your way into a relationship with someone, friend or otherwise, you have to be invited. People today – push. I shove back. (My shove may, or may not, be accompanied by my telling the person to “fuck off” before I walk away.)
And now – some lighter stuff. Yesterday, on my fan page, I received a message that made my afternoon 10X better, because it was completely unexpected. I decided I had to share it here because this kind of thing doesn’t happen enough and I’m a proponent of unsolicited compliments validating what people do (notice I didn’t say how they look). So here goes, and to the person who sent it, once again: THANK YOU! You made my afternoon!
I hope you don’t find this odd but i really wanted to give you the gift of a compliment ! It took me a bit to build the courage but reading some of your blogs has made me feel more at ease ! I don’t expect a return message ! Just want you to know that you are a gifted person in your ability to write and express yourself ! I love the way you think and the beauty of your personality when it shines through to illuminate even the simplest things in a wonderful way ! Hope you never lose that lovely gift ! I think that sums up the reason for the message ! (o: Wish you lots of success and happiness Always !
Have a fantastic Sunday!!