Dear Miss Swift,
May I call you “dear”? I’m not sure, I took a liberty and well, without thinking I wrote down “dear” and that might be a little awkward, but generally it’s the proper and accepted way to begin a letter. *pause* Okay, I went and checked and “dear” is still the acceptable salutation especially when accompanied with your proper title. Check and check.
Now, back to the matter at hand: your haters just keep on hatin’. Hmm, first let me preface this with some facts. I don’t actually own any of your music. This is not due to dislike (I had to go onto YouTube to listen to some of your songs so I had an idea of what you sing about) – you have every appearance of a talented young singer/songwriter/performer – but I pretty much stopped listening to country in the mid-1990’s because everyone started to sound the same.
I watch very little television. I rarely even watch my local news, getting most everything from the internet. So, suffice it to say, I really don’t know very much about you, but I do know that everyone feels the need, or the right, to be “all up in yo’ bidness” when it comes to your dating/love life. That has to suck. They [attempt to] rip you to shreds because apparently you are dating someone new every couple weeks. Girl, I want you to know that when I was your age (okay a couple years younger…), I was dating someone new every two weeks, too!
Now, I wasn’t a celebrity. I was in college, on a campus with a 3:1 men-to-women ratio to boot. I dated (dated, not “had carnal relations”) 40 men who all asked me out (incidentally, I married the last guy I dated, who is officially #42). I once had dates with two separate men in one night – damn right! Prior to college I didn’t date much; I was always everyone’s “friend”. In high school, I had more male friends than female and all the guys seemed to come to me for relationship advice. Curiously – isn’t that like asking a Catholic priest for marriage advice?? I digressed, sorry. Anyway, I’m here to tell you, and the public, what you probably already know: It’s okay to date, whoever you want, whenever you want and for however long you or they want.
Now, I googled your name. Admittedly I got tired of looking at the first two pages of results of people praising your very existence. Honestly I was beginning to think that all of your fans know something I don’t and you might be suffering from the same issue as Jessica Biel with her gaseous expulsions…. damn it, another digression. So I asked myself, “Self, why are there so many people writing scathing message about ‘T-Swifty’ on their Facebook and Twitter feeds?”
Sadly, I can only surmise that they are:
- Jealous of your fame/fortune/perceived success.
- Jealous of your visage and ability to wear red lipstick.
- Jealous of your ability to rock a day dress and heels.
- Jealous of how you get to date all these guys, because they wanted to date them, too. (Not me… except for maybe Jake Gyllenhaal.)
- They are morally outraged that you admitted to writing songs about breakups after each breakup you have?
- They feel badly that they can’t keep up with who you are dating as fast as E! News or Perez Hilton can.
Jealousy is a real bitch. Jealousy over your life seems to really be the only common denominator that I can come up with, other than the moral outrage bit. You know what? My Mom’s advice to me in college was to “date a lot” – so I did and I encourage you to do the same. I encourage all women to date as much as they want. Granted, I didn’t write songs about my breakups, but there is nothing stopping me from writing stories about them… actually, there is – the fact that I have forgotten most of their names won’t really help me. I remember how many I dated (folks, again, that’s dated – not “had sex with”) because my roommate in college and I sat down one night and started to list them. That list might be around the house somewhere, but then again I may have tossed it out… oops. I digressed again. My point with the moral outrage is, the general public seems to think these guys who date you are oblivious to what your career and modus operandi are and somehow seem to think that you’re a Black Widow in a sense that you are only dating these guys for the purpose of song generation. Why they care whether that is the case or not, and how this impacts their lives, I don’t know. Personally, I think they need more excitement in their own lives.
As for the guys who date you, I mean, come on… it’s been all over the internet for what… two years now? I think that’s enough of a “buyer beware” program, but perhaps they think you’re the female version of a “bad boy” and they think they can change you? Only change for yourself, my dear.
So, I think that covers it. So, Miss Swift, while it appears that the general public is “all up in your grill” over who you are dating, speculating how long it will last and if the guy is going to be angry or hurt over your musical incarnation of the breakup (as well as if you are going to purchase a house next door… seriously – THAT was… creepy. Kudos on flipping the house and making some green, though). As a member of the general public, I can tell you that I don’t care. I do, however, care that people are calling you really horrible names for being young and dating a lot of men. You’re young – you should be dating a lot if you want to and they all need to step back and look at themselves and their own insecurities and jealousies. They need to figure out what their deal is with slamming you, someone about whom I believe they, like myself, know very little. The shaming needs to stop, it’s a disservice to all women, not to mention a double standard.
Carry on young lady, live your life on your terms and date whoever you want.
Sarah – The Amusing Muse
P.S. I recommend not going all Glenn Close bunny-boiling stalkerish and buying another property adjacent to a boyfriend again… that was really, really creepy.
Seriously, celebrity hating kills me, generally. It all seems so arbitrary. Everyone loves Jennifer Lawrence. Everyone hates Kristen Stewart. Why? We don’t know these people at all.
And yes, the dating shaming is ridiculous. I just looked it up and Taylor Swift is 23. For goodness sake, do they want her to get married? For that matter, even if she was old, what business is it of anyone else anyway? People are so judgey and it just gets magnified a bazillion times with celebrities.
I agree! Honestly, regardless of celebrity status or lack thereof, whenever someone starts bashing a person (not to be confused with decisions politicians make that actually have influence on my life) on their FB/Twitter status, I will respond with, “Do you know them personally? How does what they say/do have a direct impact on your life?” That usually makes people quiet down.
As for her age, I was married two months after turning 23. I’m happy, however, in hindsight, there were a lot of things I limited myself on by marrying so young. But you’re correct that her age shouldn’t, and doesn’t, matter – she’s a grown woman and ultimately she need only be answerable to herself.
Sorry, wasn’t trying to rip on people who marry young. Everyone is different in when they are ready for things like that. It’s just that the idea of giving someone grief for not settling down more when they’re that young is ridiculous to me.
No worries! Didn’t take it as a “rip”.
I don’t think anyone should be given grief over relationships or children, anything really – ain’t none of their damn business! 😉
Ahhhhhh hahaha….Glenn Close!
I hated to go there… but you know – it was pretty obvious. 😉
I agree with the day dress and shoes comment and even the red lipstick comment – and yes, dating is, well, dating. Even in my day, if you went to the movies with a guy, you were removed from the market for all other guys until you “broke up” so it sounds like things haven’t really changed much in the last 50 years. Get out there and try on some different styles and concepts so that when you make a “decision” you know you’re ready for the next phase.
😀 You give some great advice.
She is now down to 2 groups of guys to date. Those who are petrified they will become the “star” of her next big hit and those who want to be the “star.” At 23 I say live your life, so good with your fame and put your thick skin on. Great Post!
Thank you, Ma’am! I agree – and chances are there are more who WANT to be the star of her next big hit than who are afraid to be the star.