07/15/2012 Sunday Search Terms and Project 365: Random Fact 191-197

Good Day and Happy Sunday to you, Dear Readers!

What a week.  Work as Office Ninja at Super Fantastic Gutter Company has been slow and Friday the internet at the office decided to leave early for the weekend.  I spent a good two hours on the phone with Tech Support – most of that on hold in the queue (isn’t that a funny-looking word?) – then actually talking to a Support Person – Steve.  Then, once Steve had me jump through all of the hoops, from the one coated in innards from jelly donuts to the hoop covered in flames, he finally decided that he’d put in a work order ticket.  Conveniently the call disconnected both times that Steve was going to give me the Work Ticket Number.  I looked back at all those hoops I jumped through, sighed and threw my hands up in the air… and I left early for the weekend, too.

I headed off to Erik’s Bike Shop and talked to Ryan B. about my tender ladyparts – with a straight face – whilst riding my bicycle (he kept it together… though he looked at the floor a lot).  Perhaps my using the phrase “seatular region” complete with hand motions is when the floor-looking began?  After discussion of my seatular region and a few other things not nearly as exciting, like cycling gloves and handbars, I left with a new seat to try out and see if it works for me.  I’ve got one ride in on it, but need to get in a few more.

New bicycle seat in the backseat of the car, it was then off to the chiropractor to get snapped back into position.  I really like my chiropractor.  He’s a funny guy and the only person I trust to snap my neck and not kill or paralyze me.  I know doctors and patients are supposed to have a completely professional relationship that’s all serious and no joking around… but I tend to laugh a lot at the chiropractor – he’s got a sense of humor.

Once I was snapped back into position, it was off for errand running and then to home.  I got some bad news Friday night (I’ll blog about that later), well… it was sad news more than bad news I guess.

Saturday morning I work up bright and early, and the internet here at home was out.  So I entertained myself playing Sim City 4, building my metropolises and then headed off to BBQ Camp for the day, cooking my ass off.  DH and I headed off to a party and then came home to get some things packed up for today’s venture in a couple of hours of kayaking down the Wisconsin River.  The river is low and we’ll probably be dragging our “yak” over a few sandbars, but it’s not all bad.  Sandbars offer up places to rest, sun ourselves and explore.

So, that brings me to the search terms of the week!  The winner of Top Search Term ‘o The Week goes to:  Wisconsin Drought 2012.  I have a feeling that this will end up like all things birthday and bring people to my site – expect to see it for at least a couple more Sunday Search Term posts.  We were lucky and got six hundredths of an inch yesterday morning.  It’s something and that’s better than nothing.

Our Search Term ‘o The Week Runner Up goes to:  how to give yourself a wedgie.  Really? Really?  Well, slap my ass and call me “Sally”… okay, don’t do that, cause my name is Sarah and I don’t know you that well.  Really, Searcher?  “How to give yourself a wedgie”?  Okay, okay… we can do this.  Here’s how is going to go down in simple step-by-step instruction:

  1. Make sure you have underwear, preferably clean, preferably something with some bulk to it (e.g. boxers, briefs, bikinis).
  2. Apply said underwear to your person…. that means put on some underwear.
  3. Stretch – you’ll need to be limber for the next step.
  4. Reach into the back of your pants, firmly grasp the waistband of your underwear and pull up…. hard.
  5. Give a few tugs upward just to be certain your undies are wedged firmly betwixt your cheeks.
  6. Wince.
  7. Rest firm in the knowledge you’ve got to wash the underwear…skid marks will happen.
  8. Congratulate yourself on giving yourself a wedgie*.

*Please note that if you were going for the dreaded “Atomic Wedgie” that it is best to enlist the help of at least one other person.

Atomic Wedgies MUST end with underwear over wearers head.

Now that we’ve got the Search Terms established… To the Facts!

Random Facts 191 – 197

Random Fact #191  – I often respond to questions with one-word responses if at all possible.

I’ve been known to respond to a long dissertation with a simple and singular, “Yep.”  I realize that this is contradictory to my own long-winded-ness, but sometimes a short, simple answer is all that is needed.  If that doesn’t satisfy – ask a better question.

Random Fact #192 – I love going to zoos and aquariums.

I go to them every chance I get.  So far, my favorite aquarium is Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies in Gatlinburg, TN.  Favorite Zoo… I have to go with the home town zoo, the N.E.W. Zoo in Green Bay, WI; it’s not big, but the habitats are as close as they can get to “natural” within a zoo setting.

Random Fact #193 – I think frogs are adorable.

Especially poison dart frogs.  They are SO CUTE!

Can I have one?! I promise I won’t lick it… or touch it… without gloves.

Random Fact #194 – I talk to my pets and livestock, even the fish.

I got teased about this on Facebook by people who wanted to know if they answered back.  They do, you just have to pay attention.

Random Fact #195 – I talk to plants.

Science has proven that plants respond to music and conversation.  When I’ve spent more time on my plants and talked to them – they grow better.

Random Fact #196 – I would like to learn how to decorate cakes.

I can decorate a cake passably, but one day I think I’ll attend a class and learn how to make fancy cakes purely for the fun of it.  Not to have cake business.  Not to start working at a bakery.  Just because I want to learn how.

Random Fact #197 – I often don’t notice voice and text messages right away.

I don’t carry my phone with me all the time.  My text alerts are often silenced.  I don’t have recurring alarms.  It’s not unusual for me to not get a message for a whole day because I don’t notice that there is one waiting.  It’s not that I don’t care… it’s that I’m oblivious and unconcerned.

And now… it’s time to don my bikini, get the rollers and saddles installed on the car and load up a kayak for the morning (or days) adventure!  Check back in seven days for the next installment of Sunday Search Terms and Project 365!

About The Amusing Muse

Deep thinker whose mind operates at warped speed. Philosopher pondering the big (and little) things in life. Storyteller. Office Ninja. Model. Teller of bad jokes. User of big words.
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