Fancy Coffee Friday: Ponderous

wpid-img_20140620_081805.jpgI have spent the last couple weeks pondering a great deal about what I want to do next with my life (take over the world), what makes me really happy (writing and being at home), how can I squeeze more blood out of the rock that is my average day (impossible) and how on Earth I can actually get in a solid eight hours of sleep (get ready for bed starting at 7 PM instead of 8 which I usually fail at anyway… yeah, I know).

Besides all of that, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about blogging.  How to write better.  How to make time to write.  When to write.  Where to write.  What to write about.  And I’ve come to the conclusion that I love my blog and the writing that I get to do, even if it’s not always the best I can do.  I’m working on that.

I’ve thought about my strong suits for writing.  I’ve considered the “theme days” I have which really aren’t even themes with perhaps the exception of MLiP Wednesdays (that would be: My Life in Pictures) where I try to post a decent photo I’ve taken with a story about it.  I’ve considered what people in my life have told me about my writing, too.  Some have loved my fiction (not posted here) and commented that I write it very well, that I have a way with words.  Others love the style on this blog, commenting that it’s like reading a letter from a friend – that I make people feel like what I write is just for them.

I’m bombarded with messages from blogging sites that I should be catering to the whims of my public.  Does that mean I should suddenly start blogging about being a mom (I’m missing that gene) and children because I’ve suddenly acquired a few dozen “Mommy Bloggers” on Twitter?  Hell no.  That would make me a sell-out; but of course – if someone out there wants to pay me to write blogs about mothering and kids… I’ll do it.  Money talks.

I guess that last sentence leads me to the next thing I’m good at – telling it like it is.  I have never considered myself popular or a member of cliques.  I shun them.  I prefer being the “Woman in Black”, the black sheep, the person at the far end of the bar or in the corner who really doesn’t give a shit if people don’t like what I think, say or do.  I’ve never been a good people-pleaser; I’ve always been much better at doing whatever the hell I want as long as nobody gets hurt.  Being an outlier suits me well and I will tell people “how it is” if I need to.

So what does that mean for this blog?  Maybe nothing.  I might very well continue on with my present course of writing when I can about topics that matter to me.  Then again, maybe it means that once in a while I reveal a little bit more about myself that makes people sit back and think, “Wow… I would never have thought…”

Why?  Because life is simple but humans are complicated, so we make life complicated.  Because what we look like on the outside may not match what is on the inside.  Because I like to instigate conversations that make people uncomfortable and make them think.  Because I detest following the crowd.  Because ultimately – I’m complicated, just like each and every person who may end up reading this blog.  I’m not special, unique – yes, but not special.  Nobody is.  But yet, we’re all complicated.

Ponder that.

About musingsoftheamusingmuse

Deep thinker whose mind operates at warped speed. Philosopher pondering the big (and little) things in life. Storyteller. Office Ninja. Model. Teller of bad jokes. User of big words.
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10 Responses to Fancy Coffee Friday: Ponderous

  1. sassycoupleok says:

    Just go with your heart. Say and write what you think and feel. Don’t sell out to others.You’re never going to please them all. In the end the only person you need to please is you ! :-) As the old song goes you can in the end sing “I did it my way.”

  2. Me and the voices in my head (Dr Blotto and the nameless guy with the dark personality) like you just the way you are! Having said that, its not me or anyone else you need to please. It is, in this case, you. Self seeking and introspection is good. Why not try a new blog on a different site? We all have alter egos that need expression.

    • I don’t have names for my alter-egos, though the “Woman in Black” dominates things. As the Halestorm song says:

      “In the daylight,
      I’m your sweetheart,
      Your goody-two-shoes prude is a work of art.
      But you don’t know me,
      And soon you won’t forget,
      Bad as can be, yeah you know I’m not so innocent”

  3. John says:

    I’ve found that, when I’m devoting some portion of my day, every day, to writing – I’m far happier. But, at the same time, if I ever feel like blog maintenance is a chore, I end up resenting my blogs. So there’s a careful balance.

    However, having barely been at a computer for the last month, I haven’t even looked at my blog, let alone write a new post. Hmmmm, I really hope it’s running . . .

    • Truth! Preach it! I feel that I’m horrible about maintenance (considering it’s my day job… you’d think I’d be better) – and I just want to write. I really need to pull a Harper Lee and write my own “To Kill a Mockingbird”… one book, knocked out of the ballpark, so I can travel the globe and write what I want all the time. ;)

  4. I love this! Thank you! I’m struggling to write “tougher” than I outwardly appear to people because I’m scared of the reaction, but I know I need to be candid, honest and authentic! This helped me.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Shelby – I’m glad to help. I think it’s safe to assume that when you put your best, true “self” out there – it’s preferable to putting a fake one out in public.

      Unless, of course, you’re an actress… in which case being fake is the job. Just make it believable. ;)

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